The EASY way

Taking the "Easy Way Out" is never what it seems. When it seems as if someone in the relationship screws up royally, and things had been building up before, we tend to take that screw up and blow it up. We tend to use that as an "easy way out" instead of confronting the problems the relationship had, we blame it all one one thing, and as easy as it may sound, its haunting...for both parties. It is unfair for the person ending the relationship to make it all boil down to the one moment that might have been looked past prior in the relationship to use it as a way out. That leaves the person wondering, "what if" what if they didn't drink as much that night, what if they didn't say that thing to the person you care about, what if they called to check in...you get the point. The "what ifs" can destroy a person mentally, taking the whole relationship on their shoulders and feeling like the one who let the relationship down. But its not easy for the person doing the break up either, because eventually, after the dust settles and the anger starts to fade, they realize that they took the easy way out and they feel ashamed. Ashamed that they could let a relationship end in such a way that it didn't serve the relationship justice. It doesn't mean that the break up should have never happened, its the way they went about it. The way they decided to blame the other person and seem to walk away looking like a victim. Relationships are probably the messiest thing on earth, and although I strongly believe that every relationship has their expiration date, I think the way we go about break-ups can be so harsh. Do I have the secret to the best way to break up with someone? No way. But I have come to find out through experience and seeing other's relationships play out, that taking the "Easy way out" just can't do. 

There are plenty of reasons for couples to break up. 

There are plenty of reasons why people feel motivated to end relationships.

There are plenty of reasons why some people don't deserve a spot back in your heart.

But there are also plenty of reasons why out of respect and dignity to the relationship, that you shouldn't just take the easy way out.

Don't cheat.

Don't lie.

Don't blow things out of proportion.

Don't blame it all on the other person.

Break-ups are NEVER easy, so don't try to take the easy way out, because you'll come to find, there is no such thing.

Avoided and Ignored.

One thing I just can't accept and can't understand is why people feel the need to end relationships with silence.

If this was 1970 and the only option was to drive by the person's house or call their house phone that didn't have caller ID and have the chance that an angry father might pick up, I would be more understanding...but this is 2013.

There are over a dozen different ways to get a hold of someone, cell phone calling, text messaging, snapchatting, tweeting, facebooking, instagraming, good ole fashioned face to face, email, AIM, snail mail, leaving a message for them at work, telling their friends or family to contact, you catch my drift. Now I don't think that all of these are the best ways to end relationships, but a person needs to know regardless of the form of communication you choose, just choose one.

Even if it is as simple as "its over" those words might hurt, but at least they are words. At least the person has something to grab a hold of when trying to figure out why the relationship ended. Avoidance when ending a relationship is unacceptable.

When you choose to just not say anything at all, you are really being selfish. The person on the other end is left to wonder, wonder what they did wrong, wonder what they could say to make you talk to them, wonder what is going on in your mind, etc. How can a person go from having a near perfect night with another person and one of the people just choose to not respond to messages, calls or call or message the other person themselves?

It is a really coward thing to do and how hard is it to address your feelings to the person who gave you so much, or even just let you in a little/

 Have you no respect for the other person? How could you just leave them wondering like that? How are you able to move on and sleep at night? \

What you've done with ignoring the other person and avoiding them when they try to communicate with you is more than you can possible imagine. Its hours upon hours for the other person of over analyzing, consulting friends, self doubting, crying and writing angry messages that never get sent to you.

You should make sure that when you choose to ignore a person, that you don't want to communicate with them again, because what your "like" button does on a Facebook status or Instagram photo or that look you give across the way or the random "hey whats up" texts because you are bored and lonely, are all unfair. Hiding behind social media or acting like nothing ever happened and trying to charm the other person is cruel. Because there is this thing called progress, and by you doing those things, they kill it. They bring up more self doubt, bring up a thoughts that they shouldn't.

So if you are going to be one of those people who choose to remain silent toward a person whom you've been in a relationship with and that is the route you are going to end the relationship, CUT IT OUT.

You don't deserve chances after you take that route, you know why? Because people need to be RESPECTED and ADORED in relationships not avoided and ignored. Get it together.

All or Nothing.

I have been for as long as I can remember an ALL or NOTHING kind of girl. I have always had the hardest time finding a middle ground. The way this life is has its perks, but it also has some bad consequences.

The perks, the people I love and surround myself with, I love with all my heart, I give them everything, I'll give them my time, I'll drive hours to visit, I will do almost anything for them. I give the people I care about so much, but the bad consequence from this is when I give everything and get nothing back.

The part that hurts is when I go from making someone a priority to becoming at the bottom of their list. It is hard from me to make the transition from giving my all to giving nothing. Even though I have been hurt or used, I still feel like giving them a try because I can't imagine them being nothing in my life.

I can't seem to find that middle ground, from all to something. As a way to protect myself I tend to make relationships that end into nothing because its easier that way. Its easier not communicating, not caring and so on. But it would be nice to be able to find that middle ground that allows me to not think about them every day, or hold any resentment toward them. I don't know how to just be friends with some people who have really hurt me in my past. Or not even be friends but just be casual acquaintances.

I have an addictive personality, once I get a taste of something, I want to keep doing it, drinking it, eating it, listening to it, watching it and so on. I can't just like to watch a show, I have to watch every single episode, know the actors real names, and follow them on Twitter, I either go all in and love a show, or I don't care and don't watch it. If I like a singer, I LOVE a singer, I put them on repeat, I download all their songs, I read up on their story and I know their song lyrics like I know my phone number. It doesn't just stop there, if I go into a project, I throw myself into a project. I strive to make the project perfection. I can't just do my part in the project, I have to go above and beyond.

I have known I am like this for a really long time, but it has recently been thrown at my face that I need to really be able to find that middle ground and not be so all or nothing about EVERYTHING. There are times for grey areas and it doesn't always have to be black and white.  I'm going to work on it. I'll let you know how that goes.

Low to High

Sometimes the lowest lows bring you to the highest highs. 

It is true, God really does prepare us for greatness. He gives us our struggles and problems to make us stronger and better. 

It could be that you were heartbroken, completely feeling lost and alone without the person who left, but then you find someone. That someone makes your world spin, they make the blue sky look bluer and make your smile seem wider. They show you what being in a good relationship is all about. They show you why it didn't work out with the person who broke you, and they show you why you deserve so much better.

It could be that you were emotionally eating, or boredom eating, or just flat out being lazy. You eat and sit around and drink and sit around and eat and sit around and next thing you know, you are overweight. Then you go to the store and your normal pant size doesn't fit you, and the shirt size you normally get is unusually too tight. You take a hard look in the mirror and realize that you are wasting your time and your youth by being lazy and eating crap that isn't good for you. You decide to make a lifestyle change, eat better, work out and next thing you know, you are healthier and happier and have more energy than ever before.

It could be that you lost your job. You weren't necessarily in love with your job, but it paid the bills and you got by. But that job let you go, and you were left wondering what you were going to do next. Then the clouds part and and you land that interview with a company who has a culture that matches you perfectly. You start thriving at work and finding passion in it. If it wasn't for that old job letting you go, you wouldn't be as happy and wanting to go to work every day.

These are just some examples, each one of us have our own trials and low moments that differ in many ways, but the one thing we have in common is from the ashes we rise. We can be down, but we won't stay down forever, God brings us to that moment, that "Ah-Ha" so to speak, when we realize why whatever path we were taking wasn't the right one and we needed to go through what we did to see the change that needed to be made. He brings us a person, a sunset, a smile, a feeling that makes us go to the place we need to, to feel happy again, to feel motivated, to find passion, to be loved. 

Just because you might be going through a low moment right now, remember that low is preparing you for a high, just work your way through it, and your time will come!

9

Sometimes I wonder why I let myself get to where I was. 

I wonder why I let it be acceptable to just get by.

I wonder why I drank too much and ate too much crap.

I wonder why I couldn't get my stuff all together.

Slowly but surely I'm working through all my wonder and erasing the person that I was and being the person that I'm meant to be.

A happier version of me.

A healthier version of me.

A more confident version of me.

A more motivated version of me.

I saw this pin on pinterest and it was "How to be attractive in 9 easy steps"

1.Smile- usually I have no problem doing that, but more and more my smile seems to be brighter and much more genuine than ever before.

2.Smell nice or don't smell at all-this one is funny but oh so very true, so I took all the lotions that I never use and put those on every day with a squirt of my perfume for an additional good smelly touch.

3. Dress for style and respect, not attention- By working my internship and having to dress business casual every day I've found more respect in my appearance and I put for the effort in making sure that I do look good, and not over the top attention seeking.

4. Know what is going on in the world and have an opinion about it-This one is something I'm going to have to start putting in some effort and time into because I NEVER watch the news, but it would be a more grown up thing for me to do to actually know what is going on in our world.

5. Speak kindly of yourself and those around you- I had a break down moment a few weeks back where I spoke very negatively about myself and my body, it was a breaking moment for me and I turned that negativity into positivity and haven't looked back since, I now only say good things about myself and I am always kind to everyone and try not to talk bad about anyone.

6. Have three hobbies that don't involve a screen- this was also part of my wake up moment when I realized so much I do involves screens, so now my hobbies I decided take part in is running 5ks (I want to do 5 of them by this time next year...at least), Going to the gym and letting off all my frustrations and worries and truly clear my mind and lastly, my hobby is cooking, I'm trying to eat "Clean" and in doing so I need to start getting creative in what I make so cooking is going to be a new hobby of mine.

7. Get an education or save up for one- I already am on the final semester completing my Bachelor's Degree and I'm seriously considering attending grad school, maybe not any time soon, but it is a possibility in my future!

8. Make time for children, the elderly and those who need a friend-Being an aunt is one of the greatest things about my life, I love my nieces and nephews with all of my heart, and spending time with them is so fulfilling and warms my heart, also I am blessed to have 4 grandparents and getting to spend time with them is also very heart warming and fulfilling. And I am doing my best to lend a better ear and not give my 2 cents about everything someone comes to me with, but I want to be that person a stranger could feel like they could tell their problems to.

9. Always say thank you and return favors-fortunately this one is not so hard to accomplish, because its more of maintaining how I already am. My parents raised me in a home where we say please and thank you and always help those out who are in need and especially those who have helped us before.

--These nine steps opened up my eyes and not just that, its just where I'm at in this moment in my life I'm truly happy and honestly I've never felt better. The only way you can be the best version of yourself is to wake up every morning, be thankful to God and strive to do all you can do. Take care of yourself, love yourself and above all love God.

Never Had I Ever

Never had I ever planned on going to the University of Nevada, Reno.

Never had I ever thought I'd live in Tahoe.

Never had I ever thought I would go into the Human Resources field.

Never had I ever thought I could land an internship which involved all three of the things I've previously mentioned.

This summer I have been given an opportunity that is so rewarding. I am interning with a company who is globally respected and known and I get to learn more about the field of Human Resources while getting the last credits I need to graduate.

The plans I had would have never led me to think I would be where I am but that is what is so great about God. God knows His plan for each one of us and He brings us through experiences that don't make sense at the time and then end up leading us to a perfect fit.

I have had many different jobs, each of my jobs has benefited me in some way to work in Human Resources, I just never made the connection before.

I have taken so many college courses, but it wasn't until two of my final semesters that Human Resources had been brought up. And the courses I have taken although may not have directly been HR classes, they helped me learn more about communicating with people and about business.

I have always thought that Tahoe was a beautiful place, and had dreamt that I would live here one day when I was retired and had a whole bunch of money so I could afford to buy a place up here. I didn't think that I would be renting a small studio and be less than 10 minutes from the lake.

Trust in God's plan for you, because I never thought I would end up where I am, and honestly, I've never been happier.

Plan D

Plan A. How often in our lives do we actually get the thing we were planning on?

This weekend my best friend had planned for us to go to Chicago, we were going to watch Luke Bryan in the front row and explore the city. That was our Plan A.

Plan A was ruined because of the computer system overbooking the tickets to the concert and putting us many rows away from Luke so we had the option for Plan B, to sit in mediocre seats and explore the city.

Plan B didn't sound as good with all the money that was going to be spent and the experience not going to be the same so for my weekend I needed a Plan C.

Plan C was to take my best friend on a road trip to let our Chicago Blues get out of our heads and fill our hearts with happiness and adventure.That plan had to be changed because the staff at the hospital was short and my best friend got called into work. Completely understanding her situation I switched to plan D, to still go home any way and spend the weekend with family. 

This weekend with my family was so special to me. On Friday I woke up at my sister's house because my nephew had invited me to spend the night with him that previous night. I got to spend the morning with my nephew, niece and sister. I got to spend time with my other sister, and my niece and nephew at her house and then got to have lunch with both of my sisters together. I also got to see my grandma who has been in a rehabilitation facility for a long time while she tries to gain back her strength. While visiting I gave her pictures from my graduation and a thank you card and her reaction was so special and the moment we shared was priceless. I got to ride on fair rides that night with my nephews and see their faces light up and hear them laugh. I got to see my cousins and their friends who I haven't seen in so long. I got to see my aunt and uncle and my cousin and her boyfriend and spend some time with them catching up. I got to around the fair with just my parents and ride with them to and from the fair and share in some great conversation. I got to hold my beautiful nieces and see them smile and laugh as well. I also got to see my brother-in-laws and share time with them and my sisters at the fair that night. I went to bed that night feeling so blessed. The weekend continued to get better from that Friday, I got to spend the morning with my cousin, her boyfriend, and my grandma and then all afternoon with my dad. I then spent time with my parents watching a movie and eating dinner then spent the rest of the night with my best friend. Ending the night talking with my cousin who is in Spain. I ended this great family-filled weekend with spending father's day with my dad, mom, sisters, brother in laws and nieces and nephews. I also was excited because I got to see my aunt, uncle and cousins. On my way back up to Tahoe it just dawned on me that without fail, God always finds ways to bring me back.

He brings me back into perspective. He shows me that I'm not the one who is supposed to be making the plans, I'm supposed to be willing to open my heart and mind and listen to what He wants me to do. I'm sure if my best friend and I would have went to Chicago it would have been an unforgettable experience. But simply hanging out with her and my family this weekend was such a huge blessing and made me realize even more that the simple moments in life can be unforgettable and can be filled with beauty and happiness.