Forget.

I saw this on Pinterest and thought, wow. This is such a powerful saying. Forgiveness is truly important to do. Like previous blogs, I've mentioned that holding on to the past and the people who hurt you only brews bitterness, but I never came up with these words and they are truly amazing. "Forget what hurt you but NEVER forget what it TAUGHT you."
Some of our best lessons in life are through our heartaches, pains and trials, and though those times when we've been broken down and torn apart, we get help from God and rise back up, grow a little bit stronger and a little bit wiser. Some of our greatest moments in our lives are the moments when we have that clarity that surfaces and makes us realize that all the hurt led us to where we are now. We must not forget about where we came from, and who we've grown into be, but our past doesn't define us. Just like whom ever hurt us doesn't define them. Forget the resentment toward them, but never forget what you learned from them and the experience.

This may be a simple and short blog entry, but I was inspired by the words in this quote and thought they spoke for themselves enough to not go into so much detail.

 So just remember, when you start thinking about your past, don't see it in a negative light, don't start getting upset or angry, be thankful for it. It taught you something valuable and made you into who you are.

Keep It To Yourself

Keep It To Yourself by Kacey Musgraves is a song that really made me think. Sometimes I think it is so easy to fall back on people you've been with in the past because they are familiar, because they know you, because they've seen your quirks are somehow still interested. When you are single, it is tempting to text, chat, call, or whatever form of communication via technology, because its easy. Being single does not mean that you should just settle for what you've had in the past. There is a reason that every person you dated is in your past, there at some point was a time when it did not work out, they hurt you, you hurt them, they ignored you, you ignored them, they cheated, you cheated, whatever the case may be, there was a reason why it ended. It is not fair that a person who you've previously dated suddenly gets bored, single or out of options and they contact you because you are single too. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you are available for them. You don't have to be the fall back person, you don't have to be the last resort, you don't have to be somebody's comfortable place to turn to, you are better than that. You are going to be somebody's safe haven, somebody's first choice, somebody's dream person. Don't sell yourself short, don't give into the late night temptations of texts and Facebook chats, keep it to yourself and if they turn to you, tell them to keep it to themselves. Kacey Musgraves really out did herself with this song...here are the perfect lyrics that you should turn to when faced with the situation that you are feeling you need a fall back or when someone is making you their fall back. 

"You turn on the light and you turn it back off, because sleeping alone just ain't what you thought, its the drip of the sink, its the click of the clock and you're wondering if I'm sleeping, you heard from your friends that I'm doing okay and your thinking that maybe you made a mistake, and you want me to know but I don't wanna know how you are feeling. Keep it to yourself, if you think that you still love me put it on a shelf, if you are looking for someone, make it someone else, when you're drunk and it's late and you're missing me like hell, keep it to yourself. If you see me out and I'm standing alone, well it don't mean that I am gonna need a ride home, if you walk up to me like it ain't what it is, well I know that it ain't gonna end with a kiss so keep it to yourself. If you think that you still love me, put it on a shelf. If you are looking for someone else, when your drunk, and it's late and you're missing me like hell. Just keep it to yourself. When you're drunk and it's late and you're sad and you hate going home alone because you are missing me like hell, keep it to yourself. Keep it to yourself."

Stay strong, you deserve better than to be somebody's last call.

Iron Sharpens Iron

"Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend"-Proverbs 27:17

Sometimes I think we get caught up in having a lot of friends to hang out with, that we forget to think about the quality of people we are surrounding ourselves with. It is not worth it to have a lot of friends so you can have options of people to hang out with when you are feeling lonely or bored. There is not a point to be around people who don't make you a better person. There is no point to be in a "friendship" with somebody who hurts you with their words, or constantly lies. Friendships that survive are friendships where each person can trust the other person, where lies don't have to be told to make themselves look better. Iron sharpens iron. Don't waste your time hanging out with people who don't make you be the best version of yourself. There are so many television shows and movies that show people being friends with bad people saying "they are okay once you get to know them" when in reality the friend they are describing is not a nice person, they just put up with it. I believe in kindness, I believe in forgiveness, I believe in helping out your fellow person. What I don't believe in is being in a friendship with somebody who doesn't make me feel good about myself, someone to who doesn't encourage me, support me in my failures and successes, or surrounding myself with someone who tears other people down or makes up lies about other people just to make themselves look better. I'd rather have a few good friends who help me be a better person, who pray for me, who remind me that kindness, honesty and truth matter. As sad as it may seem to end a friendship with somebody who you have fun times with, just ask yourself, does this person make me into a better person or hold me accountable to be a good person? If the answer is no, maybe you should rethink your friends. Good people are out there who are good friends, people who will love you and accept you and make you into a better person without you even realizing it. Iron sharpens iron...remember that.

Anxious.

Lately I have been feeling anxious. There are so many events and possibilities coming up that I am just left feeling anxious. I feel anxious about graduation and completing all of my classes to do so. I feel anxious about trips I have planned. I feel anxious about what job will become my career, and how soon after graduation will I be able to be employed full time. I am anxious about meeting some pretty important people who mean a lot to some of the people I hold closest. I am anxious about the future and what it holds. I am anxious about so many things I was getting so overwhelmed. I love going back home on weekends because not only do I get restored by seeing some of the people who love me most in this world, but I get to drive for about 4 hours home, and 4 hours back. In those 8 hours I do a lot of thinking. It is sometimes just me and the radio, and sometimes it is just me and the silence. Songs can trigger thoughts or the beauty surrounding me with the mountains or the fields on my drive. This past weekend I went home for Easter and was so thankful and blessed that I did. I also got to watch the Bible series on the History channel with my parents and it made me realize I need never to be on a break from reading the Bible. Each time I read a book, or a chapter or even a verse I have a different mind set and the words hit me differently. I was skimming through my Bible because I was feeling so anxious about the future and without fail one of my favorite books in the Bible helped me out with the right words I needed to hear. "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known by God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7 In a way it actually makes me kind of sad to think about how much I let the pressures of the world and the constant need to know everything all the time get to me when I know that my faith will see me through anything and everything. I know that God has His perfect timing and that He and Jesus and the Holy Spirit are here for me always to pray to and trust in. I need to slow down and start enjoying the moments more and feeling anxious about the unknown less. Whatever happens is going to happen. All I can do is put my thanks and trust up to God and let Jesus take care of my heart and the worries that can fill it. The anxiousness I feel doesn't help me, it doesn't get me any where and it has no place in my life. I need to be better at letting go of the things I feel anxious of and put my trust into God.

Pieces of My Heart

Do you ever have a moment that you hear a song for the first time and it changes you, it speaks to you and you think I will always remember where I was the first tme I heard this song. It was one of the first warmer days of this year, warm enough where you can drive with the windows down and not be cold, and I was stuck in traffic, and got bored of whatever over played song was on the radio at the time so I changed stations. Gary Allan's voice came on and his upbeat melody with profound lyrics filled me with even more happiness than the sunshine through my rolled down windows. It was like I was hearing a song that I could have written from my heart and experiences. "I've been broken, torn and scattered, I've loved Holy I've loved sin, I was rollin' on the wind it didn't matter. I was so sure of who I didn't wanna be, every smile, every fear, every laughter, every tear it was all me, it was all me. Pieces of my heart, pieces of my soul, pieces that I'm gonna be I don't even know. I gave a lot to lovers, gave a lot to friends, everything I took from them, made me who I am, pieces. We've all been lied to, we've all been liars, nothing is perfect in this world, everybody has been burned by the fire. Guess I'm learning that what doesn't break you makes you grow. I'm not hiding where I've been gonna let the light shine in, what I don't need gonna let that go. Pieces of my heart pieces of my soul, pieces that I'm gonna be I don't even know. I gave a lot to lovers, gave a lot to friends, everything I took from them, made me who I am, pieces. The good and the bad, pieces, the happy and the sad, pieces, the wrong and the right, that's my life." The lyrics speak for themselves, we are all made up of pieces others gave to us, and others are made up by the pieces we gave to them.

The Impossible

Tonight I watched the movie "The Impossible" for the first time, and I came home with such a weight on my heart but also am overwhelmed with a feeling of love and inspiration. If you haven't seen the movie I suggest you watch it at least once, and I think I can only watch it the one time I did. If you are not sure what the movie is about, it's about a family of five, a mom, a dad and three sons. They go on vacation for Christmas to South East Asia and are right by the ocean when the record breaking tsunami hit. Their family got split up, the mom ended up finding her oldest son while they were both being swept away in the water and the dad found the two youngest sons both hanging onto trees. I won't tell you all the details about the movie but the fact that this movie is based on a true story about that event and the people the family came in contact with through their journey to be reunited was incredible. The kindness that people showed to absolute strangers, the feeling of togetherness with all the people who were in the hospitals or looking for loved ones. I can not even imagine the feelings and pain that those people went through who survived that terrible disaster, and who lost everything they loved most in life. It left my heart feeling heavy seeing in the movie the amount of dead bodies they had found, and the family members searching to find them. It left me feeling heavy because everyone that was involved in that tragedy will never be the same and although the story ended well and seemingly impossible for the one family I can't help but think of all the families that never found each other and never got to hug each other or kiss each other one last time. But in a strange was I was overwhelmed with love. The love that the family had for one and other was astonishing. There was a scene where the brothers all find each other again and I lost it. The moment was so touching to see the love that the brothers had for one another and it made me think about my sisters and our relationship and how thankful I am to have them in my life. It made me feel overwhelmingly inspired to see the way that people just tried to help each other. In a scene where the mom is in bad shape a village of ladies wipe her face with water and give her a clean shirt and in that moment to I lost it. It was so inspiring to see these people who have so little already, give to others without a second thought. There were many cases in the movie with people doing things for others even though their lives are also going haywire. It was so inspiring and uplifting to think of the genuine good and kindness that people have in their hearts. I'd like to think I'd be so strong and so helpful in that situation and so selfless. God bless all those people who lost their lives, helped saved lives, the survivors and the families of all the people who were in any way affected by this tragedy. I can't help but place all of you in my prayers and be thankful for the life that I am blessed to have. If you haven't watched this movie, I encourage you to do so, it is a movie that will make your eyes at least tear up a bit but worth it. Remember to be kind to one another and be helpful to those who need it. We are all human and we all can use a little help sometimes, it shouldnt take a tragedy to allow us to think about others and help out those in need, there are people everywhere around you that can use some form of help. Give it to them. In the end of our lives even if we have all the money on the world we can't take it with us when we go...And like I've quoted before..."it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you are gone."

Catch my Breath

Because today my Best Friend joins me in the wonderful age of 23 I was inspired to write about the song that we both agreed would be a great anthem to our year! We definitely used up Taylor Swift's song "22" as much as we possibly could before we both turned 23, and now we are on to a new song, a new anthem that describes exactly where we are...Kelly Clarkson's "Catch My Breath"

This is one of those songs that we heard and felt like she was singing the lyrics to our lives. And because I'm so analytical when it comes to song lyrics I wanted to go over the song (most of the lyrics) and why I love them so much.

 "I don't wanna be left behind
Distance was a friend of mine"
I feel like this song is one that describes our twenties to where we are now, because there were times in the first couple years when we had been hurt, hurt so badly that we didn't really open ourselves to anybody but each other. We both knew that we wanted to feel better, wanted to just be better and not sit on the sidelines.

"Catching breath in a web of lies"
When we would feel like we were making progress in our time trying to scrape out of the dark places we were in, there would be moments that would come up about times we'd be lied to and the truth came out, so just when we thought we were going to be on the way to getting better, we'd end up stepping back two of three steps.

"I've spent most of my life
Riding waves, playing acrobat
Shadowboxing the other half"
As we started growing up we started realizing that we ourselves were our own worst enemies, not the girls who talked bad about us, or the boys who broke our hearts. We were our own biggest critics, it was easy for each of us to tell the other person that they were too hard on themselves, but it was too hard to look in the mirror and do the same for ourselves.

"Catching my breath, letting it go, turning my cheek for the sake of the show"
The last part of that lyric about turning my cheek was one that we both were all too familiar with. We didn't fight back, we didn't speak up during certain times because we didn't want to cause a scene or we felt like we couldn't say the things we wanted to say.

"Now that you know, this is my life, I won't be told it's supposed to be right"
We took our lives back from all the things holding us back all the things that we thought we would do because they were the "right thing" we did them for the wrong reasons. We didn't do them for ourselves, we did them for others.

"Catch my breath, no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that"
This last year especially we really started understanding who we were and realized that we didn't need to have a man in our lives to make us be the best version of ourselves. Our past wasn't defining us it was only shaping us and it would no longer stand in the way of our dreams.

 "it's all so simple now"
Probably the best lyric in this entire song, we OVER ANALYZED everything about our lives, (and yes I do realizing I am over analyzing this song) but what we did was plan and worry and stir around waiting for something to happen. Life is SIMPLE. There is no need to worry about all the stuff that may or may never happen, and it is simple because we have God that is here to help us every step of the way.

"Heavy heart, now a weightless cloud"
We both have never been in better places in our lives, we don't carry around the heartache and the pain that our hearts have been put through. We have allowed ourselves to just be HAPPY. Happy in where we are, we aren't making plans and we aren't talking about our past like we used to.

"Making time for the ones that count"
It has been said that when you are in your twenties it is the time when you need to be the most selfish, and both of us have relished in our selfish moments, and having those moments when we do indulge to make ourselves happy are important moments. But we also realized that the people surrounding us who are so loving and supportive are the ones that we need to be spending our time with. We don't need to be wasting it on people who don't want to make time to spend with us.

"Laughing hard with the windows down"
Laughing is one of our favorite things to do, and we need to do it more often, and Lauren is known to cry while she is doing it and those are the tears that we like to shed. Let the windows down, don't worry about your hair, don't worry about anything, just let the world in!

Keeping faith kinda comes around
Another lyric directly spoken to our hearts, there were moments when we lost our faith, there were moments when our relationship with God wasn't where it should be. We brought it back, keeping the faith that one day we would feel better, one day we would be happy EVERY day and truly be happy, one day we'd be back on the track we wanted to with God and trusting in His plans for us.

"You helped me see
The beauty in everything"
This line is how I feel about our friendship, both of us ended up on the same track of happy right around the same time and through that process we started counting our blessings and not our troubles and spending time talking about the things that made us happy in the day and not the things that made us sad. We talked it through and cried it through and laughed it through and now here we are, seeing the beauty in the world and loving life.

It is all so simple now. 23 will be our year to use this song to realize how far we've come and live in every moment to the fullest. To remind ourselves that there is beauty in the world and that we can let the windows down. We aren't burdened by our past we are stronger for it. We will no longer be the ones who get pushed over and have our kindness used against us. We will be the strong women of God who pursue the things in life that make Him happy and us happy. Because the rest of the garbage, "there ain't no time for that!"