Remaining Constant.

Our lives are ever changing.
There are days where life seems to be spinning out of control and that everything is changing and we can't seem to find the one thing that holds us to the ground.
The problem with that is we don't open our eyes, the change in our lives seem scary and new so we are afraid of what might come next. But what we don't realize at the time is who is next to us when everything is changing.
God remains constant in our lives, although we tend to leave Him out from time to time, He is always there, willing to help you through the changes, celebrate the changes, heal over the changes, find peace in all the changes. There is a peace that comes with God, that sense that everything is going to be okay even when it feels like it is not. God is the master of plans, He knows when the game is going to change, because He calls all the plays! He knows what the other side can do, the temptations that come along and doubt, so He understands that we will fail, we are human. We are not perfect creatures, and He understands that, He accepts that, He loves us for that. God is there through every change, every struggle, every victory. God remains constant.

God also blesses us with people on Earth who remain constant in our lives. You know, the people that are always there for you no matter what, holding your hand, giving you a high five, hugging you, encouraging you, crying with you, laughing with you. There are people God put on this Earth to just be in our lives for a short period of time, others to stay awhile and then He gives us our constants. I'm blessed to have constants be my close family and I have a constant in a best friend. There was a time a couple years ago when I wouldn't have been surprised if my sisters gave up on me, I wasn't making the best choices, I wasn't being the best sister I could be, I was letting them down but the thing I was the most grateful for when I came out of the darkness I was in was that they remained constant and loved me through it, just like my parents had. They didn't agree with every decision I was making, they noticed the changes in who I was becoming and they just loved me through it. And you might think I'm crazy for saying that I'm thankful my sisters and parents loved me through that time, because that is what family is all about, but my point is they didn't have to be. They could have turned their backs on me, shunned me, and stopped communication with me all together, it is sad to say, but we see it more and more now happening with families all over they let changes affect their relationships. They didn't allow me to spin out of control completely, they held onto my hand and tried to pull me back down and show me the good in my life. They reminded me of the blessings that God gave me right in front of me.

It is hard being friends with someone, let alone a group of people and especially many groups of people. It seems as we grow up our friends change. When we are in elementary school whoever is in our class that likes the same games as us at recess become our friends. In middle school whoever is sitting next to you that period is your friend. In high school who ever is involved in the same sport or club is your friend and they often change around the seasons, the people who you are the most close with are the people you spend most of your time with. In college the people we are close to are the ones that share our major. As we get into careers our co-workers become our friends. See, friends are ever changing, just as we change. I am blessed to say I have many people I consider my friends, I may not see them often, or talk to them every week but I consider them friends I want to keep. One friend in particular has remained constant in my life since the end of 8th grade. We each had our own groups we hung out with during seasons, she was a cheerleader, I played volleyball and helped out with the football team. She was in all honors classes and I was involved in agriculture classes. By high school terms, we really shouldn't have been as close as we were because we didn't have much in common when it came to activities. But the thing that brought us together was the fact that God was constant in each of our lives. We could be open and honest and share our thoughts and prayers with each other, and we still can. She and I haven't been able to see each other as much, and we still have our own people that we spend our time with but if there is ever anything I need or anything she needs we know that we can drop whatever we are doing to help the other one out. It is a constant friendship that I am so thankful to have, and even just calling it a friendship seems to downgrade it a little bit because she is so much like family and she is what I like to call my "person".

The whole point of this isn't to tell you how amazing my constants are (even though they are amazing:) It is to remind you of the constants you have in your life. The people that are always there, the ones you tend to forget about  and you spend all your time worrying about the changes and the things you can't change.  Thank your constants today. And know that even if you can't think of one person on this Earth right now who has truly remained constant, know that God is there for you always, and it doesn't matter if your communication with Him hasn't been constant. He loves you. Thank Him for loving you. And ask Him to open up your eyes to see the people around you who He gave you as constants.

Things are going to always be changing, so instead of looking at what is going to be happening next, think about who is standing next to you.

I've Learned Along The Way

21 is the year where society makes it okay for the person to be a complete fool, a drunken mess and always doing something crazy.

That wasn't quite what 21 was for me, 21 was what I'd like to think was my learning year.

It wasn't a crazy drunken fest, I did have a handful of nights where I "acted my age" but for the most part I was pretty low key.

There has been so much I've learned about myself, life and God while I've been 21.

I made some of the biggest decisions up to date about my life.

I learned that starting over is incredibly difficult.

I wasn't even 21 for a month before I ended a relationship that I had for two years. Breaking up broke my heart but was a decision I have not regretted for a day.

I learned that we put people up on pedestals because we look up to them and think they are worthy of more attention than others, and I realized that was ridiculous to do. We are all human, we all make mistakes, we all have sins, we all have imperfections, and yet we hold people up so much higher than everyone else. I learned that God was the only person I should be holding on the upmost high.

I learned that people change and that it is okay.

I moved away to a different state for school with my two cousins and that was a huge change for me.

I learned that I wasted a semester sitting on the sidelines not being the social butterfly I normally am because I lost a lot of my friends from my previous college and realized that doing that was incredibly stupid of me.

I learned the hard way that putting school on the back burner is a stupid decision, and even if you hate a class that is no excuse to not attend or pay attention.

I learned that even though finding out I was cheated on after the break up still stung. It made me really doubt myself and what I have to offer in relationships, which also made me hold back when it came to meeting guys in college. I realized after a lot of praying and self reflection that nobody deserves to be cheated on and I am not the exception to that rule. I didn't deserve to be cheated on, I deserved better and I shouldn't have held back when it comes to opening up to the idea of letting someone else in.

I learned that family is the most important and times with them need to be cherished. I learned that they are the best support system and help healing. They are God's given blessings that help you on earth get through the tough times and also create memories that are filled with joy and laughter and make me happy to be alive.

I learned that life is short and that I will not know when God chooses to call me up. I lost a great friend who lived a kind, humble, passionate, caring, life and was taken in his mid twenties. And by living our lives to the fullest and laughing and loving will bring the loved ones who have passed joy knowing we haven't stopped everything because of them.

I learned to stop making EXCUSES. They don't get me anywhere and they are meaningless. I learned to take responsibility for my actions.

I learned that if I want to lose weight I can't just think about it I actually have to get up and actively do something about it by changing my lifestyle. I learned that a healthier lifestyle is something I want for myself.

I learned that friendships can be formed in the oddest of ways but that doesn't mean I should let them pass me by.

I learned that listening to what people say about a person isn't the most valid thing to base a person off of. I learned that there are two sides to every story and letting myself base opinions off of one side was wrong and a terrible thing to do.
 

I learned that forgiveness is powerful. I have had some pretty low moments with God when I was feeling sorry about myself and the situations I was in and wondered why God was putting me through them. I realized one day I was in the wrong and God was in the right so I asked him for forgiveness and felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. I have forgiven people without them even knowing I have because I also learned that hate is an unnecessary thing to hold in your heart for anyone. I have been forgiven and have forgiven.

I learned that God will take care of my enemies and wishing harm against them or planning evil toward them is going against God and the plans He has for my enemies.

I learned that some people aren't meant to be trusted, and life isn't as peachy as I used to think it to be. 

I learned that the decisions I make today affect my tomorrow.

I learned that being an aunt is the best gift my sisters or God could have given me.

I learned that I am never too busy for God, never too busy to open up my Bible, never too busy to praise and thank Him, never too busy to pray for others and myself, never too busy to write letters to God.

I also learned that waking up early will change your whole day, and laziness gets you no where.

I learned that my not-so-kick-ass life I was leading needed to be changed to a very-kick-ass life.

I learned that money doesn't measure worth. 

I learned that a compliment given is more important than a compliment received.

I learned that if a person isn't willing to change, I can't make them same goes for myself.

I learned that I can be hurt by loved and healed by the same.

I learned that if you don't put your passion into action, or your plans into play I'll just let life pass me by.

I learned that I still have a lot left to learn.

Every time my birthday comes around I reflect on how my last age went. 21 was a year of learning, 22 needs to be my year of doing. Hold me accountable, let me not forget what I've learned, make sure I'm going out and kicking ass in life. 

Surrounded by Love.

Family.

What better way to start a blog for the new year with the topic that has so much meaning?

In 2011 I learned family is the most important. Without even realizing it I became more family centered than I ever was, and oddly enough it was the same year I moved away from my family to go to college. But while in college my family was always on my mind, we were always in communication and I came down for every event that I possibly could have. I could list all the events and special times but that isn't the point of this blog. The point is the fact that family matters. Family should be valued and my family should know that I value them completely and entirely. Families are there for each other through it all, and don't run away when the going gets tough, we band together and grow stronger together. I have been blessed with an amazing family. Every moment is precious that you spend because with all that happens in this world you never know when your last day will be. I used to dream about the crazy things I'd do once I turned 21 and the type of crazy new years eve I might have. I spent this new years eve celebrating my sister Kristi's 24th birthday, playing board games with my parents, sisters, brother in laws and nephews. It wasn't a wild night like is seen in movies or on Rockin New Years Eve with Dick Clark but it was perfect. I ended the year with the people I hold closest to my heart and who have been there for me though my 2011 and I know will continue to do so for my 2012. Surrounded by my family was a great way to spend the night. With the end of the year I do always get sad reflecting on loved ones lost and just time flying by way too quickly, I think of moments that were so special and moments where the strength had to pull me through. 2011 wasn't a year that was perfect, I had to learn a lot and the hard way to get through things but moral of the blog, my family was there for me and it didn't matter if I was down the hall or 4 hours away. Do me a favor and hug your family and tell them you love them and if there is some strife between you and a sibling or a parent just remember LIFE IS SHORT and the new year is a perfect time for a fresh start. No hate should be built up that big in your heart for someone God put in your life to be your family. Today would be a good start to forgive them and move on. Spend your moments happy with your family and thankful for what you do have. I know that is what I plan to do with my family for my 2012.