Choose Happiness.

Choose Happiness.

This is the only life we get.

Unfortunately we can't give God a phone call and receive instant responses on questions we might be asking. His plan for us is such a masterpiece and I will be honest, I was struggling with His for me.

I am a recent college graduate, I landed the perfect summer internship that taught me so much and everyone has been nothing but good to me. My heart was leaning toward moving home, back to my little town where my family and friends are. My head was leaning toward staying in Tahoe, getting a more permanent position with the company I am interning for, its a great company, I work with good people, the price of living is really high and my closest family is over an hour away but I was willing to work with the bad, put in my time, and then get some killer experience. That job opportunity opened up in Tahoe, to stay, get paid a decent amount of money, and the job itself seemed like a really neat thing to do, but wasn't exactly the field I had in mind. I was trying to justify staying, trying to justify leaving but through it all I just kept praying that God give me a sign. God give me some kind of answer of where He wants me to be. I had a phone interview for a great company back down by my hometown and it was more of a fielder call, to see if I was interested and if they were in positions that might be opening up in HR and when I started talking about HR my passion started busting out of me, I was going on and on how I loved the work I had been doing and wanted to keep learning more. This interview was my sign. My sign not to settle for something I didn't have my heart into, something that would just be letting me get by. I am happy every day I walk into work in Tahoe, the work I'm doing as the HR intern has truly been a great experience, but it seems that although I'm happy while at work, being in Tahoe something has always been missing. My people. My people are who make me an even happier version of myself. Although I've been truly thankful for phone calls and texts and even Facebook messaging, nothing can compare to going out for frozen yogurt with my cousin and best friend, getting hugs and kisses from my nieces and nephews, watching Hilmar Football games under the Friday Night Lights, spending time with my sisters watching trashy reality tv shows, sitting on the couch and talking with my parents, being minutes away from my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, driving with the windows down through the country alongside a loved one, and so on. Tahoe is one of the MOST BEAUTIFUL places in the world, and at the risk at sounding cliché, nothing compares to my small town of Hilmar. Most people who leave it never want to come back, me? I left it but had every intention of returning, Hilmar is my home, Hilmar is where my family is and where I spent my adolescent years. Now that I've done some maturing and growing into the 23 (almost 24) year old that I am, I'm ready to move back. Although I'm unsure exactly what career I will have, and what company it will be for, but I know I will be happy. I'm choosing to be happy. Happy so that even when I'm having the worst day, I can go see one of my people or take back road to clear my head.

Although I know, by opening up and saying I turned down a job offer to move back to my hometown I will probably get people thinking about how I am crazy, dumb, pathetic, and so on but I don't care.
God knew that  this is what I wanted deep in my heart, and He knew it was the best move for me, so He showed me when I was ready to listen.

I chose happiness and I'm so thankful God showed me the way.

Choose to be happy.

Value and Worth.

"Your Value Doesn't Decrease Based On Someone's Inability To See Your Worth"

 

Heartbreak sucks.

 

As much as we all hate failed relationships they are blessings.

Being in a relationship where someone doesn't realize how wonderful you are is not a relationship worth having.

Break-ups can make you feel like the lowest of low, like trash on the side of the street, like gum on the bottom of someone's shoe, like the last one picked for teams in elementary school. As hard as it is to realize it in the moment when the wounds are still fresh, and your heart is being torn into pieces, you deserve better. You deserve someone who does think that you are the best looking person in the room, someone who encourages you through your success and will stand by you when you fail, someone who will be there to adore you and watch you be all you were meant to be. Someone who makes you your best self. Although I truly believe that there is that person out there for everyone, it doesn't mean that you need that person to realize it for yourself.

You are valuable, your life matters.

You are part of this messy world, and you are a star.

You mean more to this world and the people in it than you can even fathom.

Just because someone doesn't want you or thinks that you aren't good enough for them, doesn't mean that you are aren't good enough for the world. You are more than good enough, you are the best. There is no one else on this Earth who is you. Nobody on this Earth can be you, its your job to be YOU.

Don't think that because one person or people don't notice how special you truly are that you aren't special, because you are.

You are valuable.

You are needed.

You are loved.

You are the only YOU.

 

Don't let anyone take the shine out of your light.

Fearless.

Yes Fearless is a song and album by Taylor Swift, but this blog isn't inspired by her.

It is inspired by the word in and of itself, FEARLESS.

Fear LESS.

Why do we allow ourselves to get so scared of the world? To not be our true selves or to not let people in?

I could tell you a lot of reasons why actually, the pain, heartbreak, embarrassment, self-doubt and so on.

I love God with all my heart, He has created such a wonderful life for me, it has been a life that has known pain, heartache, sorrow, loss and shame but it has all shaped me into who I am.

I can get so caught up in creating these scenarios in my head about all the reasons why I shouldn't do something or try to plan my life or worry about giving my heart away.

These are all things that I can fear. I can fear that if I pick one thing, I might end up wanting something else. I fear that if I don't over analyze or strategize my day, week, month or year that nothing will work out how its supposed to. I fear that if I give my heart away to the wrong person they can destroy me and break me in ways I've felt before or even worse. These are all fears that I have. But now they are fears that I HAD.

I have written blogs before about keeping faith in God and His plan and His timing. He has never lead me astray.

My heart can love because its known pain. My heart can forgive because is been wronged. My heart has been damaged but it always gets repaired. All of the things I've been put through were meant to happen to me. God planned them out, not as a way to get back on me for my sins, but to teach me and help me learn.

Why do we fear the unexpected? Life is still going to go on, if we plan it or not and if we take the leap to fall in love or stand back too afraid on the sidelines, it will keep going on. It will not stop until we take our final breath on Earth. What is going to happen, will happen.

Be fearless by being faithful.

God has seen you broken, God has the right tools to fix you. God can move mountains and move your soul.

Let Him in, release the fear.

The EASY way

Taking the "Easy Way Out" is never what it seems. When it seems as if someone in the relationship screws up royally, and things had been building up before, we tend to take that screw up and blow it up. We tend to use that as an "easy way out" instead of confronting the problems the relationship had, we blame it all one one thing, and as easy as it may sound, its haunting...for both parties. It is unfair for the person ending the relationship to make it all boil down to the one moment that might have been looked past prior in the relationship to use it as a way out. That leaves the person wondering, "what if" what if they didn't drink as much that night, what if they didn't say that thing to the person you care about, what if they called to check in...you get the point. The "what ifs" can destroy a person mentally, taking the whole relationship on their shoulders and feeling like the one who let the relationship down. But its not easy for the person doing the break up either, because eventually, after the dust settles and the anger starts to fade, they realize that they took the easy way out and they feel ashamed. Ashamed that they could let a relationship end in such a way that it didn't serve the relationship justice. It doesn't mean that the break up should have never happened, its the way they went about it. The way they decided to blame the other person and seem to walk away looking like a victim. Relationships are probably the messiest thing on earth, and although I strongly believe that every relationship has their expiration date, I think the way we go about break-ups can be so harsh. Do I have the secret to the best way to break up with someone? No way. But I have come to find out through experience and seeing other's relationships play out, that taking the "Easy way out" just can't do. 

There are plenty of reasons for couples to break up. 

There are plenty of reasons why people feel motivated to end relationships.

There are plenty of reasons why some people don't deserve a spot back in your heart.

But there are also plenty of reasons why out of respect and dignity to the relationship, that you shouldn't just take the easy way out.

Don't cheat.

Don't lie.

Don't blow things out of proportion.

Don't blame it all on the other person.

Break-ups are NEVER easy, so don't try to take the easy way out, because you'll come to find, there is no such thing.