Present.

Of course the fact that a beautiful baby girl just came into my life inspired a blog. This Monday God, my sister and brother in law brought new life into this world and I was given a precious niece. As soon as I found out she was a girl my head started spinning with all the clothes I can buy, girl toys and places we could go. I instantly started thinking about the future of the new life. I took a step back and realized that, that very day was one that needed to be celebrated and I needed to be present in the moment. I realized in that moment my life is good. My life is wonderful and I am so incredibly blessed with the people I have in my life. It made me think about the instant love I felt when I held her in my arms and that same love I felt toward my nephews instantly. The love I have toward my nephews and niece and soon to be niece or nephew is overwhelming. And in this moment I feel so fulfilled. I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the whole wide world. I have never felt better about myself and life than I do right now. I have searched for happiness the past years which was mentioned in my last blog, quietly changed. This is something that is added on. I look at my life and I realize I'm a role model. I'm an auntie. What I do with my life and the actions I do matter. I can say in this moment I am proud to tell my niece(s) and nephews about where I am at. I am not letting anyone define me. I am not throwing myself into a relationship. I am accomplishing things in school. Volunteering for good causes and supporting things I believe in and working my way  through school and most importantly I cherish my family and make them a priority in my life. Life is good. And like I always say God is working wonders in us all and has such amazing plans for us. Be happy and present in your life. You have limited days and spend them by loving, laughing and trusting God.

"Remember Me"

While watching the movie "Remember Me" a character says this quote by Ghandi 
"Whatever you will do in life will be insignificant. But it's important that you do it because nobody else will."
 This quote speaks volumes about life. I know I am guilty of underestimating my impact on this world. I think I need to do something on a grander scale in my lifetime to help people. My best friend has pointed out to me before that the things I do daily create an impact. This quote made it full circle for me. I know I dream of the powerful things I can do with one day maybe running a non profit or housing foster kids and helping out with charitable organizations. I believe I am fully capable of doing that but really what matters is the day to day things we do.
The doors we hold, the "bless you" we say when someone sneezes, the good morning text or the much needed hug someone desperately wanted. It's in the smile we give to a stranger, the advice we give to a friend, the meaning behind telling someone you love them. It can be giving the homeless person some spare change or buying something from your neighbors children's fundraiser. It's the card you send for Christmas,  Anniversaries, Birthdays, Holidays or for no reason at all. I now find myself saying..."if not you then who?" The little things we do in our day to day lives seem so insignificant because it comes from the nature of who we are but the little acts of kindness we share without even realizing it, matter. If you don't hold the door for the person behind you, nobody else will.
 I write this blog because I get inspired and feel like writing it out as an outlet of my thoughts and emotions. I'm vulnerable and real with the things I share. I don't know who reads this, where they live, what gender they are or even how old they are but here I am. I write in the hopes that my inspirations may inspire some of you and even if I don't inspire that I just make you think for a second. If I never wrote these words, you may have never came to this conclusion. I don't only write this blog for me to get my release, I more importantly write it for you. No matter how insignificant something may seem do it... Nobody else will. 

Quietly Changed.

Ever feel like people from your past are so far removed that they feel more like fictional characters than someone you actually knew and were close to? I feel like God works in us in such an amazing way to heal us from our pain and hurt that quietly we grow stronger. The way that they say one day you wake up and are over it is true...to a point. You may think one day you are over it, but at that moment you gave it a nod in your mind realizing it is over. I think day by day we grow stronger and think less of the things that used to consume us, the hurtful things said to us, the pain we have carried, the insecurity we feel, the ache in our hearts it all goes away. It all heals. We recover from who we were and the negative feelings we felt toward ourselves and.toward others. Without realizing it we figure out that grudges and sour thoughts are truly worthless. We realize that God has made us into better versions of ourselves. He takes the hate out and the pain and replaces it with love, kindness and thankfulness. I heard a song that used to get me through my rough days by Sara Evans and it was "little bit stronger" and I ended up along the line not needing the song as my crutch anymore and it wasn't until a couple weeks ago I heard it on the radio and felt like a completely different person listening to it. I felt that the person who needed that song was gone and the person hearing it now felt a little too strong to let herself listen to it. If we step back and see how God has worked in our hearts and minds without us even asking or knowing what to ask to help us. He never gave up on us even when we gave up hope on ourselves. He was silently fixing us and repairing our hearts. He continues to do so, we never stop growing and learning. I know I've said it before but really micromanaging our lives and worrying about timelines is pointless. God has us covered. He has his plan and the prayers we pray get answered in some form. Don't give up. If you feel the pain won't leave or a memory won't stop haunting you, it will. You will realize in that moment exactly what I'm talking about. Feel empowered by God and feel safe. God is full time all around the clock focused on helping you get better.