There used to be times when I was the most confident person, I'd be silly and happy and completely and entirely myself without having a care how others viewed me.
Somewhere along the lines that person got lost. That person who wore her hair in a messy ponytail, a t-shirt and jeans and hardly ever wore make-up. The person that was so bubbly happy it was obnoxious to some people. The person that loved so hard and constantly wore a smile.
In my realization that who I used to be got lost, I got sad realizing I let this world we live in get the best of me. I realized that the views that others had of me became more important than the view I had of myself.
Somehow I started letting others define me and my self esteem got to be at an all time low. I stopped seeing the beauty I had in myself and the beauty that God (and my parents) gave me. I stopped being myself 100% of the time and got to be so reserved it felt wrong.
I felt the need to be someone I wasn't and it wasn't due to something anyone directly told me. It was something that got built up overtime and who I was started fading away and I wasn't becoming the person I wanted to be...THANKFULLY I realized this in time to save myself before the Kody I once knew was gone forever.
I think we forget to love ourselves. We give love out to family, friends, pets and even strangers. I love everyone before I remember to love myself. I will encourage everyone before I think to encourage myself.
Its not bad to love yourself, its not bad to feel good about yourself, its not bad to be confident in yourself. Don't ever let anyone tell you or let yourself build that up in your mind because guess what? I realized this. I needed the help of a friend and a conversation that evolved itself to stumble upon this realization, but I got there.
I realized that I was at my happiest times when I truly loved myself, every part of myself, especially my imperfections.
