I don't know if I've ever actually written on a blog how much I love that my birthday is close to the New Year...when the rest of the world is trying to figure out where they went wrong, where they want to go right, reflections, etc I am doing the same but based upon my age. I already posted a blog about my 2013 and how I feel absolutely blessed!
My 23rd year was truly incredible and I can honestly say I'm thankful for every moment.
This year I feel like I've truly found myself. I have learned more by doing more, and by simply just allowing my self to LIVE.
Here are a few things that I've learned over the year and hope that I can continue to carry them with me through my 24th year.
Happiness is not something to strive for. If you go searching for happiness you will never find it, or you will try to force it. I wish neither of those things for you. I wish for you that you find happiness where you are in this EXACT moment. Every person in this world deals with their own struggles, struggles with personal matters, family matters, friends matters, health, work, school, you name it someone is struggling with it and most people are struggling and juggling multiple things at once. The struggles in life are natural, they are what keep us human, but just because you haven't landed the perfect job, found the perfect person, are at the perfect body size, or found your perfect state you want to be in to finally be happy doesn't mean you can't just be happy. It seems so naïve to say that it is just that easy, that you can just be happy.
Happiness comes from thankfulness. I found that when I truly started counting what I do HAVE my body was OVERWHELMED with happiness. Nothing in life goes as planned...I've discussed this over and over again in this blog especially. Trusting in God has truly helped me become happy too. It is truly the simple things in life that I find so much joy in now.
The other day I was out with some friends and it was cold, and I just stopped while we were on our way inside and said "look at how beautiful the stars are tonight" in the rush of the cold and wanting to be warm, I found a small touch of happiness even on our short walk inside.
You can even find happiness in even the saddest situations. I lost my great grandma in my 23rd year, knowing she is gone even seems unreal, but I had 23 years with my GREAT GRANDMA. Most people don't even get one. She was blind, my great grandpa had passed away a few years before and they spent the majority of their lives together, I knew that when she passed away, she can now see, she can be reunited with her husband, her family and finally get to see God. I'm happy I made the drives to come home to make it to holidays, and just to visit to have those extra moments with her. I find happiness in the time I spent with her because I truly cherished her while she was here, and will continue to cherish the memories I will hold dear. Will holidays be different? Of course. Will I still find times when I get sad because I miss her so much? Of course. She lived a long and meaningful life, filled with her family, she had great great grandchildren, not something that is given to many people.
Happiness can come from the madness too.
Happiness isn't a destination.
If you become thankful, you become happy because its hard to feel any other emotion.
I've realized a few things about myself and my personality this year that I've never noticed before.
1. I see the good in everybody, this can be seen as a blessing and a curse. Because I try to always find the silver lining and the bright spot in the darkest people, I tend to misread them and don't notice the bad because I overlook it with good. I think that this is a great quality to have to accept people, even the people who seem to have big faults, but to allow myself to let these people all the way into my life, can also be destructive. I can see the good in people and treat people with kindness, but if I let them too close, I can have that kindness used against me.
2. I am fiercely loyal. I always knew that I was a naturally supportive person, but when I thought about the people I love, even the shows I love and music I love, I am extremely loyal. If I become loyal to you, you will not have to worry about me straying away or going behind your back.
3. I am terrible at text messaging. I think I may be one of the worst people to text with, I will text someone for multiple texts in a row, then I'll get sidetracked, or I will not have my phone anywhere near me and then I will see a text and forget to text back. If you are one of the people who text me, its not because I'm ignoring you, I'm just really terrible at texting, much better at phone conversations, but then I will be on the phone with you for at least 30 mins.
4. I am not a fan of Fireball Whiskey. I don't understand the hype, I am not a fan.
5. I catch on to things later than most, but tend to become more passionate about them than the people who have liked it since the start. Examples: Pretty Little Liars, Scandal, Gossip Girl, One Direction, and many more different entertainment trends that people have loved for years that I just started liking this year.
6. I am capable of changing to a healthy lifestyle. When I was living in Tahoe, I was living a clean eating healthy lifestyle and I was dedicated, I was disciplined and I actually liked it. Moving home, I have got out of my routine and hope that 24 brings me back, because I enjoyed the way I felt from living that life.
7. I am a worthy candidate. In all different types of life, I'm a worthy candidate for a job, for a girlfriend, for a friend. I am worthy to be chosen. I am worthy to be accepted. I am worthy to be seen to my full potential. I am worthy to be appreciated. I am worthy to be loved. I am WORTHY. Once I started valuing my worth, even with the rejections that I've faced, I became stronger and confident. I stopped settling.
8. Taking chances truly bring great rewards. I took a chance on Reno, this year I graduated from Reno, I stepped out of my comfort zone of Hilmar and grew so much as an individual. I took a chance on applying for an internship in Tahoe for the summer and I actually got it and it changed my life. I didn't take a permanent job in Tahoe because I wanted to be back home and I've gotten to make some great memories with the people I love and I wouldn't change a thing.
This year I've grown, learned, matured, and so much more. I am beyond blessed with all God has given me.
On the eve of my 24th year my wish for my 24th year will be to continue to take the things I've learned in my 23rd and stick to them. I wish to be happy. Above all I wish for me to take the little things in life and be thankful for each moment. God has a plan and I want to keep on trusting in it, He hasn't steered me wrong yet!
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